Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
What happened to fro yo and sex?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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