I want to stick my p in your. b.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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