Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize