chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
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Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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