I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
