Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
