ugly people sure do ruin things
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
