I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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