the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
