Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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