okay pat passed out under dana's car
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
