Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Nicole vs. Life
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
