I think my fart just growled at me.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
