You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
