kristin has been a bad kristin
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
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Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
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We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize