Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
