Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
