Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
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For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
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Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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