Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
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