She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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