I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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