it hurts more in the daytime
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
