it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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