In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize