is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
