wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
