I'm drive I can fine osifer
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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