btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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