totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
