just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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