there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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