New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
where are my eyebrows?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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