i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
