I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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