So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
