so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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