ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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