by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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