I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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