it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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