I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
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Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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