fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
