it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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