fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Everclear isn't food dammit
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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