He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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