What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
