Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
