I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Of course I have a pirate flag
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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