What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
