from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
