I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
