I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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