i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
