There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
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He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
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I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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