just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I looked at my own cervix.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
