Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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