If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
