Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
