I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize