Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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