the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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