whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
