Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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