You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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