You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
you made out with another girl for some wings
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
