sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
