the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
