You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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