Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
