it hurts more in the daytime
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
