just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
its liver damage thursday
Randomize