i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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