Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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