If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
