there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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