I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
