My room smells like vodka and shame
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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