whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
